Friday, May 27, 2011

Dissapeared Part 4

       Marny couldn't believe the place she was in now, it was beautiful.  It was like a gorgeous forest, but when you got deeper into where the houses and businesses it became identical to a village, but more modern.  There were others- the same as her- seated at coffee shops, strolling around, greeting, and acting friendly with each other.  They all carried big crystal white grins on their faces.
       Marny didn't realize that Gloria had stopped walking until Marny ran into a pole and landed on the soft cool soil on her but.  Marny looked around embarrassed, but no one had seen her incident except Gloria and she wasn't laughing.  She was about to get up when a hand flashed in front of her and grabbed Marny's hand and pulled her upward. She didn't look at his face, she looked at her hands, together.  When he grabbed her hand Marny had felt a warm sensation of electricity go through her body.  It seemed like forever until Marny's eyes found his.  They were a intoxicating glacier blue.  Marny had never seen a boy so pulchritudinous in her entire life.  They stared at each other for a long while until someone broke the spell, it was Gloria.
       "Alrighty Marny let's go you may chat later, after we get your living arrangements settled," Gloria said as she sounded irritated, but she was wearing a smile on her face.
       Marny forced herself to pull her hand away and looked at Gloria.  "Okay," Marny said, "just give me a minute?"  Marny asked.
       "Fine fifty nine seconds and counting."  Gloria stalked away grumbling something about teenagers.  Marny turned toward the boy that was standing there looking amazing hot.
       "Hey..."

      **More Next Week :D**

7 comments:

  1. Liz, I really liked this. I feel bad for her running into the pole. :/ well, I wish there was more, but I wonder what you'll put in next week. (:

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  2. I liked this, and how you explained when the guy grabbed her hand. It kinda of reminded me of a teenager meeting her love or something like that. I WISH THERE WAS MORE AT THE END, CAUSE I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE GIRL & THIS AMAZINGLY HOT GUY TALKED ABOUT(:

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  3. I like this a lot. I want to read more right now. I wish that you wrote more about the ending but I also really like how you left it like that. I wonder what they are going to talk about.

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  4. Lizzy,
    i like your story! I like how you use big words! even though i dont understand them i think it just sounds good! I wonder who that man is she met and I wish i could continue reading right now!

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  5. I really liked this, things like this could really happen to someone anytime. I wonder what next week is going to be like. I wish i could have read more.

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  6. Hi, Lizzy,
    I agree the details/events in this segment were realistic. I wonder what would happen if you added in more details to describe the : pulchritudinous: of the boy.... is that even a word form of pulchritude? Who is your audience for this work? Is the vocabulary consistent to meet its needs?

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  7. I liked it! I wonder what the boy looked like other than his cool blue eyes. I wish I could read more:)

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