It had been a year since Marny got kidnapped, during that long dreadful year she has been tortured, raped, cut, and had gotten bruises all over her white pastel skin. She escaped, it had taken a long time but she did it. The problem though was that nobody alive could see her, she was like a ghost but not. The people that kidnapped her were vampires, they tried to turn her into one by draining her blood and filling it back with their own. They didn't finish, Marny was in the middle of the change when she ran away from that horrid place. I suppose you might think a lot of people get turned into a zombie like thing when you get stuck in the in-between stage, you don't. You're like a ghost except that everybody can touch, see, hear you beside humans. That's what happened Marny, when she escaped she had to walk and run over 200 miles to reach her old house. Her family wasn't in the house, but she was going to find them and give them a sort of sing that she was okay. Just then Marny tensed, she could feel someone entering the room behind her. She turned around to see a brown curly headed girl with gentle blue eyes staring at her.
"Hi," she said as a sort nice sort of creepy smile spread across her face. Marny felt weirdly safe in her presence.
"Hello," Marny answered back, "do I know you? I apologize if I do and am just not remembering." Marny stated apologetically the girl didn't answer for what seemed like a long time."
"Yes, well young one I know you but I doubt that you know me.......
*More next week :)*
I liked it, and the idea of your story. I can see it being very good when you end it. I also liked the descriptive and details you had it in it, when you described everything. GOOD JOB(:
ReplyDeleteWow, Part two really brought me into what was going on. haha. I love this because it like almost has a different sort of twist to it that I wouldn't have imagined. I can't wait to read more! I wish I could read more now.
ReplyDeleteI really liked it, you described a lot so it was easy to picture what had happened. I wonder if the girls will become friends or if she is just trying to hurt her. I wish you could have written more.
ReplyDeleteI like this a lot! I wonder what happens next, I wish I could read on.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. I wonder what would happen if there was a part three. I wish you could keep writing. (:
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