The room was empty as Marny walked through her old creaky bedroom door. The room felt like it was surrounded in creepy cool air. The only thing left was a medium sized brown moving box except it didn't look like it was going anywhere. She walked toward it slowly, when she stopped in front of the box she was that
Marny's junk was scrawled across the the top. Marny peeked inside and couldn't hide her gasp as she saw that lying there in the box were her favorite things. Pictures of her friends and family, her football trophies, her teddy bear john, and her most favorite possession the diamond necklace with the locket that lied gently on her throat. Marny had gotten that necklace on the day of her 17th birthday, she sat down on the floor and let her emotions get to her. After she was finished she grabbed the necklace, put it on and threw the rest off her thing into the backpack she brought with her. She didn't blame her parents for leaving this house. It wasn't their fault they didn't know she was alive.
********** Flashback (1 year ago) **********
Marny was walking to school, which was only three blocks away so she was pretty safe. Today there was a different type of feeling lingering in the air, like danger. That's when Marny noticed that there was a 2006 blue SUV following her. She started walking faster, she could her the SUV getting closer and getting faster . Marny started to sprint-she could now see the sins of her high school- toward the school, but they had gotten so close. A man had reached out and grabbed her. The last thing she heard was her own screaming before she fell into a hole of glistening darkness.
Oh, I have so many questions (which is a good thing because I want to know more about the story). I do hope you are going to continue it! What has happened to Marny? What does she look like? Nice details on the box contents!
ReplyDeleteI really liked it, i liked how you didn't say why her parents didn't know she was alive until the second paragraph. I wish you could have wrote more. I wonder what t would be like if you had described why her parents didn't know she was alive in the first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteI like how much question your story leaves because it makes me want to read more. I wonder what happens next, I wish I knew!
ReplyDeleteWhen Marny opened the door, I could like smell the room almost. The old, musty kind of smell. You did really good on description words in this story. I wonder what the SUV did with her. I wish I knew so much more. :)
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